'My wife is addicted to porn!'

Her swingin' addiction to porn is all my fault!

By Diana
Date:  2011-04-12
Place: Mumbai

Dear Diana,
I am 33, have lived in Mumbai all my life. Last year, I had an arranged marriage to a girl from my parents' hometown in central Maharashtra. She has studied up to Std 12 but is entirely na ve where sex is concerned. I gave her time and was pretty patient about it. We talked about it and I waited till she was comfortable about it. One of the things I used to "educate" her was porn. It turned out to be extremely helpful in knowing what each of us wanted. The problem started after that. She is a housewife who has nothing to do all day (I have employed servants to do the housework).
She started spending most of her time on the internet watching porn and invariably, became an addict. She wanted to try the different things that she saw there and though I initially enjoyed those experiments, now she has moved on to deviant things. She now vehemently wants to pursue a swinger's lifestyle, something I don't support. This has led to friction between us. I know this is my fault but I do want to rectify my mistake. I love her to death, so leaving her isn't an option. Should I give in to this lifestyle (something I am not comfortable with) or should I say no, risking this wonderful woman to drift away from me?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,Restrict her access to the internet. Put in parental controls on your computer and lock your files with passwords. What she cannot get to, she will not seek. She will experience withdrawal but that is expected. Talk it out with her and tell her delicately that she needn't try out everything she sees in porn movies. If she still doesn't get it, tell her point blank that swinging isn't an option at all.
What is the biggest turn-on for men during sex?
Dear Diana,What are the things a man wants to hear during sex? Dirty talk? What is the biggest turn-on?  
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
I guess what men should be turned on by, is the sound of his partner enhoying herself during the act. That tells him that he's pushing all the right buttons and will egg him on to do a better job.
He wants us to skip the use of condoms
Dear Diana,We're both 18 and virgins. After dating for three months, we've got to kissing and cuddling and now he's trying to convince me to lose my virginity to him. He has also said that he doesn't want to use a condom because it feels better without it and because he wants our first time to be amazing. What do you thing I should do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,If your virginity is a big deal for you, lose it to someone you love completely or are most comfortable with. Any young guy that says he doesn't want to use a condom is just asking for trouble. There's unplanned pregnancies and STDs to worry about and you really don't want to worry about that when you want it that much. Besides aren't you a bit young to be wanting to take risks. Trust me, not being safe while having sex is not worth it.